6/11/09

Today I learned: that I really haven't posted on this in a while. But I have discovered there is a plethora of people on bikes in Phoenix who like to ride while carrying wierd stuff. So far I've seen someone with:

A chandelier
Refridgerator parts
A fan
A lamp

2/15/09

Today I learned: there is justice and balance in the Universe as I have just learned from an good friend and former collegue that my old boss, the one who was in charge of a creative department but....

 

-never watched TV and therefore had no idea who Rod Serling was, nor had ever seen an episode of the Twilight Zone and had never heard of the Reese's "You got your chocolate in my peanut butter' commercial.

-had the social graces of Ted Kazinski and Ed Gein

-was extremely happy to hear I got into a prestigous MBA program for working professionals, only to tell me one year later, "Well you're going to have to choose between work and school.'

 

This old boss, well let's just say her position was eliminated. I am so so freakin' happy for my former co-workers I can't stand it. Yet, I feel bad for the old boss. Truly was horrible at the job and truly miserable inside. This boss never spoke of friends or family. The only company the boss had is the animal. I've always pitied this person, because even though I've had to cope with downsizing and getting fired; I am extremely fortutnate to have exceptional friends and wonderful family to lean on in tough times.

The boss, does not. And I pity her.

 

But I'm sooooo happy the Universe does tend to balance things out every once in a while!

February 3, 2009

Today I learned: that it pays to quadruple check when sending out job application stuff. God am I kicking myself right about now, ugh!

January 13, 2009

Today I learned: I am one big massive ball of PMS, non-smoking, mildly depressed, freaked to the point of inactivity nerves. The league's skills test is this thursday and if you don't pass you don't skate in the big season opener on the 31st. The big crux for most of us: 30+ regulation laps in 5 minutes. I've done 31 & 32 laps in the past tests but I am still freaked out. Add to that the usual job hunt, impending birthday, lack of fundage and I am not exactly a nice person.

 

But since when last I posted I have:

-Gotten my first piercing!

-Babysat a lightweight teammate in the throws of massive drunkenness.

-Sat with Mater as she got a pacemaker after a heart attack (she's fine)

-Signed up for graphic and dialog classes.

December 1, 2008

Today I learned: that I can stay exceedingly angry for a very very long time.

And of course it's always the little things that break the camel's back, to mix my metaphors.

I haven't been in this kind of rage in quite some time, I had forgotten how good it feels to be angry. Warm and powerful, deep in my guts. I know when I'm done with my anger intoxificaiton, the resulting hangover of regret for the cruel things I have said will be bad.

But right now, oh goddamn does it feel good!

November 25, 2008

Today I learned that my depression is probably the one thing that can stop me dead in my tracks.

All I feel is pain, and it encompases my entire being so that nothing can get done. Why is it

I can deal with physical pain like a champ, but emotional pain knocks me for a loop every time?

 

Hopefully today is rock bottom, but I don't think so. These false rock-bottoms seem to be

piling up at least one a week. I wanted to talk with a teammate, one of my more level-headed ones,

and express my feelings but she was called into work. A good and a bad thing... as I really had

to force myself to reach out to someone in my abyss.

 

I hate my depression just a scosh more than I hate my jobless state. I did have an interview

for a permanent position last friday. But haven't heard back... and they said they'd call on

Monday those they wanted to see again. Oh well, at least I looked cute in my suit.

 

Surviving on freelance ain't easy. And its a huge blow to my self-esteem as all I wanted

when I was younger, was a brilliant career. And look where I am now.

 

I am thankful that I only have to worry about myself, but sometimes I really want that external

validationy type hug that, "everything will be OK" from another person can bring. I've always thought

it weak in the past, depending on others, however believing the contrary hasn't worked out

so good for me.

 

Another FGO: Fucking Growth Opportunity.

 

 

9/29/08

Today I learned: how not to post this bloody thing in hindi!

And that keeping my insane exercise schedule when sick will result in me being unable to function outside of bed for at least two days.

Plus, "Wide Lawns & Narrow Minds" is posting a great story about how she met her husband. Gave me the 'le sighs' but I know I am way too... solitary and irritable* to ever pull a story like that off IRL.

*Best I could come up with. First word choice was, 'whatever'. Lemme tell you trying to cope with my new found former fat girl rages at men, women, soceity etc, is a task. Derby, ain't even helping it.